Where's This Road Heading?

A few different things on my mind today. I'm working on the presentation about the conflict in Oaxaca. Finding words to describe it, in a tidy fashion, is incredibly difficult. Sure, you can put together a nice little summary of: annual teachers' strike occurs, desalojo occurs in june, marches occur every month, Brad Will is killed, PFP sent to Oaxaca, Radio Universidad attacked, etc. But that timeline, while important to illustrate the current situation, is only a part, maybe, honestly, a small part of the story. What about all the events that have occurred that have led to the dissatisfaction, the distrust of the government....do you throw in the years of ballot stuffing, the manipulation of votes, the payoffs, the bribes, the missing/murdered/brutalized women, political prisoners, unions, mistreatment of the indigenous, the response to the earthquake in the 80's, NAFTA???? I mean, how can you really tell the history, the emotions behind this conflict, without including all that has hurt the people of Mexico? Because, while some of that is ancient history, the pain is generational. The consequences are handed down. Without those pieces of history, do the teachers, does APPO, do the people in general of Oaxaca look crazed? Do they look like whiners? Yeah, they do. Not to me. But I've realized, by looking at the uninformed American press stories, that this is the impression that's being given. I've seen comments on forums about how the people of Oaxaca are ruining their city, about why haven't they accepted the raises offered way back when? I guess, what I've learned, is it goes beyond that. It's not about just the teachers. It's about Justice for the Past, Guarantees for the Future. So how do I educate others...on the totality?...that's what I'm pondering today.
Also pondering....what am I doing with my life?! Aarrghhh!!!! While the Oaxaca trip gave me some insight, it also left me with so many questions. I only wish I had another week there to finish my research. I'm soooo not ready to submit a practicum application. It's not possible to only intern with al migrantes. Being a state agency, they do no networking. So I have to figure out how to assist them, but also connect with International NGO's in Oaxaca. Research is proving tedious, with little answers. What is my goal? What's my project? I don't know yet, quite honestly. I thought I knew, but research in Oaxaca proved otherwise. So the quest to figure it out continues.
Last but not least. I received some upsetting news yesterday. ProMexico is pulling out of Oaxaca. It's become too dangerous. Not only is this sad news for those in the community they help...but it means that Amigos del Sol has lost one of its last remaining groups of clients. If the travel warning from the U.S. is still in effect in December, PSU will also cancel its plans for Oaxaca. No field-study this year. Amigos business is dwindling fast. Already, they have had to lay off many teachers. Losing these two client bases could be devastating to its ability to stay open. I worry about Hector.